Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
