Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Im part way to drunk.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
