I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
