It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
