so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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