i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We are all done wearing pants today
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
