my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They are going to name an STD after you.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
