It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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