Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
