Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
