It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
