Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
