I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
