David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
