every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
