Did you just see the Batmobile???
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize