Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
