Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
