dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
