Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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