Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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