she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
