Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
