I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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