I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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