whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
