Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
