If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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