my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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