yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
