i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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