i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
