MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
