I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
