the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize