Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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