Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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