Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
