I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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