Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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