Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize