she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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