I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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