i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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