Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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