somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize