and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
