So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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