sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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