imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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