She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize