Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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