jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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