it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
