I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
