his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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