why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
