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She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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