her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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