Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
