I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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