Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize