I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
