ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
