Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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