I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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