Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
