The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
