At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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