Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
