Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
