I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
