Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
