well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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