Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
